Marriage can be a lot of fun… and hard work. It’s hard to be vulnerable. The family routine day in and day out can get boring, or stressful, or tiring. It’s hard to put others’ needs ahead of our own.

That’s why date nights are so important.

Do you remember why you fell in love with your husband or wife? What was that first thing you noticed about them that made you smile? Why did you decide that you wanted to marry this person? Date nights help us to set aside the normal routine of life and the busyness of family, jobs, and problems, and simply focus on one person: your spouse. This is a chance to set aside time and reconnect together in meaningful way. Date nights don’t need to be expensive or fancy. They just need to be intentional, enjoyable, and purposeful.

Be intentional

People feel valued when we set aside time for them. Date nights can be planned weeks in advance, spontaneous decisions on a Tuesday night, or a secret surprise that is unveiled at the last minute. All of these can still be intentional! The simple label of “let’s go on a date” is an important part of being intentional. This tells your spouse that you have a specific purpose, and that purpose is to be close to them.

Making it enjoyable

There are some classic date nights: dinner and a movie, picnic in a park, cuddling on the couch watching old movies, or going out dancing. It can also be fun to go on an adventure together, driving to the beach to watch the sunset or trying something new together like a cooking class or hiking in a state park. The best way to truly enjoy a date night is to focus on enjoying your spouse rather than the activity.

Focus on making your spouse smile, complimenting them (sincerely), and listening to them. You want them to feel cared for. And if you’re both focusing on caring for the other person, you’ll both walk away smiling yourself. The activity is absolutely secondary to the primary goal of enjoying your husband or wife.

Plan purposefully

Find a babysitter if that’s needed. Plan a cheap or free activity if money is tight. Walks in the park or playing board games can be free and fun. If you have health problems or marital problems, then plan activities and times that are as realistic as possible. Setting ground rules on the topics or activities might also help the evening to be fun.

Go out and have some fun with your spouse this weekend!