Show a little love to your beloved

As a marriage and family therapist, one of my favorite things to hear from couples is:

I kissed my wife the other day while we were making dinner, and our daughter rolled her eyes and said “Geez, dad, why are you always kissing mom so much?”

Or perhaps even better:

My kids had some friends over after school, and when my husband kissed me as he arrived home from work, I overheard them apologizing to their friends: “Just ignore them, they kiss all the time.”

These are great moments!

Why are these some of my favorite things to hear? Because I just learned something great about this couple. They are affectionate with each other, modeling healthy romance in front of their kids, and they do this often enough that their kids take it for granted.

Regular, consistent, predictable affection is an important lifeline for every marriage. Sure, some spontaneity is good too. And of course, there will be arguments and conflict that needs to be resolved. You may not always feel like kissing your spouse, but for the health of your marriage, I encourage you to do it anyway.

Kiss. Hug. Hold hands. Yes, there are some ways of showing affection that are best behind closed doors. But it’s okay if your kids roll their eyes about your silly pet names for each other. Show affection and show the world (starting in your own home) that you love your beloved.


Written by Jessica Hayes
iHope Executive Director