We live in a world saturated by sadness. There are epidemics of loneliness and anxiety. Depression is a growing problem.
Yet, there is hope. Opening the pages of Scripture, we find action steps and ways to support people who are struggling. And in the counseling room, these same tips are very helpful!
So today on the podcast, let’s take a look at 4 tips that will help you come alongside people who are struggling with sadness, discouragement, and depression. In fact, these are 4 tips that you can use yourself during hard and painful seasons.
These tips come straight from Scripture, and we’ll look at how to apply them in your own ministry today..
RELATED: Recognizing Important Warning Signs: Is Someone Depressed Or Suicidal?
Is someone struggling with sadness?
We tend to experience sadness along a spectrum. It can range from clinical depression that is risky and life-altering, up toward a slight disappointment on a hard day. Anywhere along that spectrum, it is helpful to have strategic ways to help and care for the person who is struggling.
And not only do we feel different levels of sadness, we use many different words to describe our experience. As a counselor, the most frequent words I hear people telling me that they feel sad, depressed, hopeless, discouraged, burned out.
None of these are fun feelings! But they are a normal part of the human experience.
Which means, in your church or ministry, it’s not a question of if you will minister to people feeling depressed and hopeless. it’s a question of when.
And in all reality, you will struggle with these same feelings yourself. They might be at any point on the spectrum, but they are not fun feelings. These same strategies will help you care for others and care for yourself when needed.
Some common symptoms that might tell you someone is struggling include:
- They tell you that they are feeling sad, depressed, hopeless, etc.
- You notice they are less interested in things they used to care about.
- Complaints about exhaustion, lack of energy, sleep problems, or physical complaints like headaches and stomachaches
- Negative thoughts or comments, especially if this is a new pattern for them.
- Mood swings or changes in anger, anxiety, or stress.
- Difficulty concentrating or focusing
Immediate help for suicide concerns:
As you think about these symptoms, you also want to be prepared for the reality that some people feel so hopeless, or they are in so much pain, that they are suicidal.
Use the National Hotline for help: Just call 9-8-8 for emergency mental health support or visit www.988lifeline.org for help.
Here are two blogposts that can help you further if suicide is a concern:
- Recognizing Important Warning Signs: Is Someone Depressed Or Suicidal?
- Practical Action Steps You Can Take If You’re Worried Someone Is Depressed Or Suicidal
Biblical Tips From 1 Kings 19
As you come alongside people who are struggling with sadness and hopelessness (or when you are struggling with this yourself), a really helpful place to turn in the Bible is to 1 Kings 19.
In this chapter, the prophet Elijah is right on the heels of an amazing experience with God. He saw the power of God at work. But this made him a target and Jezebel wants to kill him. So here in chapter 19, Elijah is running away.
And he’s feeling depressed, discouraged, and suicidal.
“He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” (1 Kings 19:4b)
And yes – if someone tells you they are praying that they will die, that they want the Lord to take their life, that they have “had enough” – these are warning signs that they need your help and care!
Tip 1: Care for their physical health.
When Elijah is complaining to God in his hopelessness, God does not yell at him or punish him. The first thing God does is provide care for Elijah’s physical health.
- Elijah slept (v. 5)
- The Lord sent an angel to help him eat and drink (v. 5-6)
- Elijah slept again (v. 6)
- And again, the Lord sent an angel to help him eat and drink (v. 7-8)
When you or someone in your ministry is feeling sad and discouraged, provide help for their physical health. Check in with them! Ask them how they are sleeping, eating, feeling. Invite them out to a meal. If you can, ask about their diet and encourage them to eat healthy, nutritious meals and drink healthy drinks.
When people are depressed, alcohol and substance use can become a problem. It is common to have trouble sleeping. Ask about these things, and offer practical help when you can.
Tip 2: Seek God’s presence.
When we are sad and depressed, it is easy to step back from church attendance, Bible reading, small groups, and prayer. It is common for people to self-isolate and stop doing things that take much energy. Plus, many people feel like God is more distant during these times.
But this is the opposite of what will be helpful!
After resting and eating, Elijah journeys to a cave where he has a conversation with God. He pours out his concerns, and God responds. There is a powerful wind, an earthquake, a fire – and then, a gentle whisper.
And God speaks to Elijah.
When you or someone in your ministry are feeling sad and depressed, that is the time to seek God! And as a pastor or ministry leader, you are in a prime position to help people do this.
Some ideas for how to help might include –
- Notice when people are missing church or small group time, and reach out to them.
- Offer to meet with them for a Bible study, prayer time, or for accountability.
- Connect them with a solid small group or Bible study group that can come alongside them.
- Pray for them – and with them. Out loud. Model it for them and encourage them with your prayers.
Tip 3: Challenge false and negative thinking.
Our thought life is hugely influential in how we feel. So when people are feeling sad, there is likely a train of negative thoughts – often, false or not completely true thoughts – leading them forward.
Notice that, label it, and challenge those false thoughts.
This is what we see God doing with Elijah in verses 14-18. Elijah complains that he is the only one who is zealous for God and now he’s being hunted. God does not call him a liar or tell him that he’s wrong, but the Lord does challenge that thought process – because it is not true or helpful.
Despite how Elijah feels, God corrects his thinking. He tells Elijah that in reality, there are 7,000 prophets whom God has “reserved” and protected, who also have refused to worship the false god Baal and are therefore at risk from the ruling elites.
You can challenge someone’s negative thinking in a few ways – always with a tone of gentleness! After all, this person is struggling.
- When you hear a negative or false thought, ask them where that thought comes from or why they believe it
- Ask them to name some alternatives to that thought
- Read Scripture with them that points them to truth, beauty, and goodness
- Point out some realities that they might not be considering, which are more positive and accurate ways of thinking about the situation
Tip 4: Seek fellowship, companionship, and godly relationships.
God has created us for relationships. They can be so healing and encouraging!
But when someone is feeling depressed, they are far less likely to pursue or engage in their relationships. This only pushes them further into isolation, hopelessness, and loneliness.
At the conclusion of 1 Kings 19, we see God sending Elijah to anoint his successor Elisha. And when he goes to Elisha, the young man follows him. The Lord gives Elijah companionship and help.
And when you are feeling sad, or you are coming alongside someone who is in a season of discouragement or struggle, companionship is so valuable!
You might be a friend to someone yourself, inviting them to spend time together and checking in on them. But this is also a helpful time to connect them with other people in your church or ministry. Who has a personality that would be a good fit? Are there people with space in their schedule and a compassionate heart that can come alongside this person?
What’s next?
As you minister to people, it is only a matter of time until you are helping someone who is sad, hopeless, or depressed. You may not always realize this is the case. But so many people are struggling with these types of emotions and experiences, you are probably ministering to people in this boat today!
Don’t hold back. And if you are the one struggling… don’t hold back! Seek help for yourself.
Physical health, spiritual connectedness, right thinking, and godly relationships can make a world of difference.
If you are in South Carolina and need help with these issues, we have counselors and life coaches available at The iHope Center. Reach out to us at The iHope Center if you would like some support with dealing with these related struggles. Our services are 50% below the local average cost of counseling and we do offer some virtual appointments if needed. Call (843) 702-0323 to get started.
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REFERRALS AND DONATIONS
Our counselors are licensed in the state of South Carolina. If you are local to our state, we hope you will consider The iHope Center as a referral source for professional counseling or life coaching. We offer a 10% discount on services to full-time pastors.
The iHope Center is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and we are registered in the state of South Carolina as a charitable organization. If you are local to our state, we welcome your donations and gifts to support our counseling ministry. Donations are used to help us keep clients’ fees at 50% below the local average cost for services.
DISCLAIMERS
The blog, podcast, and other resources offered by The iHope Center should be taken as informational and educational content only. Utilizing our resources does not create a professional relationship. This podcast is not therapy. Always use your own judgment in making decisions and in making recommendations for others.
In the case of a medical or mental health emergency for yourself or someone else, please contact your local emergency department. In the USA, you can call “988” which is the three-digit, nationwide phone number to connect directly to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.