“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?” Psalm 42:5 / 42:11 / 43:5
It can be a scary thing to wonder if someone is depressed, hopeless, or suicidal. It’s overwhelming.
But if you’re in a church, a ministry, or relationships with your community, it’s inevitable.
Depression and suicide are a HUGE concern in today’s world. It’s one of the leading causes of death among kids, teens, and middle-aged adults especially. So… what can you do?
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Practical Steps To Take If You’re Concerned
First of all, be aware of “warning signs” that you might notice. These are red flags! Pay attention, and be willing to act as the hands and feet of Jesus to these people who might be in need.
Start with a conversation.
This can be the most awkward part. But if you’re worried, you need to say something. If you don’t… who will?
This is probably best either 1:1 with the person or with a very small, well-trusted circle (e.g. their spouse, your church’s women’s director, their friend who raised the concern in the first place – etc.)
If you’re struggling with what to say, you may want to write down some notes or even prepare in front of the mirror! Get comfortable with the words. Share with them what you are concerned about, and ask how they are feeling.
Involve others who are helpful.
There are a lot of people who might be helpful in this person’s life, but they may not know it yet. And let’s be honest – depression, suicide, and mental health struggles is usually embarrassing. It’s not easy to talk about. It’s hard to tell people when you’re struggling.
Since you’re concerned about this person, it’s fair to assume that they are feeling more hopeless and desperate than you are. So rise up with the wisdom, strength, and compassion of Christ, and take the lead in helping them.
If this is a child or teen, make sure to bring in their parents. If this person is married, bring in their spouse. Help the person plug into a friend group, Bible study, or other community.
And of course, you may want to recommend professional counseling – especially if there are indeed concerns about suicide!
(If you are in the state of South Carolina, here at The iHope Center we are available to help. Call us Monday-Thursday at (843) 702-0323.)
Prioritize safety, and take action.
In the counseling world, this is the time when we would create what’s often called a “safety plan.” This is more than just an agreement or contract to not hurt themselves – it includes specific action steps that the person will take to avoid hurting themselves.
If you feel up for that level of intervention, that’s great! But don’t try to take it all on your own shoulders. Instead, you’ll likely help the person more by connecting them with a professional resource.
Call 9-8-8 for emergency mental health support. This is the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which you can also find at www.988lifeline.org. They have people trained and ready to help someone who is struggling with depression or suicide, and their website also has resources for you the “professional” or involved person.
Let’s be clear – this is not an exhaustive list of action steps!
Depending on your relationship with the person you are worried about, your training and readiness, and many other factors, you might do more.
My goal with this blogpost today is to encourage you to avoid doing less.
Jesus did not shy away from people who were hurting and struggling. And we shouldn’t either. You have the power, wisdom, strength, and fruit of the Spirit in you, and God has placed you in this person’s life for a purpose.
If you aren’t sure what to do, reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline yourself. They’ll offer ideas and encouragement.
And if you are in South Carolina, reach out to us at The iHope Center and we may be able to offer counseling or other help.
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ABOUT YOUR HOST
This podcast is offered as a ministry from iHope Christian Care and Counseling, Inc. We are a nonprofit counseling center in the Pee Dee area of South Carolina. Our primary host is our Director: Jessica Hayes, LPC, LMFT, LPCS-Candidate. You can learn more about The iHope Center at http://www.ihopeflorence.com.
We hope you will subscribe to our channel and share about the podcast with the other pastors and leaders in your life. There is a video, audio, and blog version of this podcast:
- LISTEN on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or any common podcast app
- WATCH on the iHope YouTube channel
- READ on the iHope blog
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REFERRALS AND DONATIONS
Our counselors are licensed in the state of South Carolina. If you are local to our state, we hope you will consider The iHope Center as a referral source for professional counseling or life coaching. We offer a 10% discount on services to full-time pastors. Virtual services are available as well.
The iHope Center is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and we are registered in the state of South Carolina as a charitable organization. If you are local to our state, we welcome your donations and gifts to support our counseling ministry. Donations allow us to keep clients’ fees at 50% below the local average cost for services.
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DISCLAIMER
This podcast, as well as other resources offered by The iHope Center, should be taken as informational and educational content only. Utilizing our resources does not create a professional relationship. This podcast is not therapy. Always use your own judgment in making decisions and in making recommendations for others.
In the case of a medical or mental health emergency for yourself or someone else, please contact your local emergency department. In the USA, you can call “988” which is the three-digit, nationwide phone number to connect directly to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
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Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Counseling Tips For Pastors And Ministry Leaders!
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