We all have expectations of ourselves and others. And we all know the feeling of frustration when those expectations are not met. Guess what? This is the normal experience of human relationships. Continue in our series through the Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day (Every Day).

#2: Expect unmet expectations.

“Expectations” are often discussed in pre-marital counseling… but this is often before we are in the situation itself, when the expectations will come face-to-face with our emotions.

How do you handle it when your expectations aren’t quite met?

Some expectations are probably things you both agree on – things like, “we will speak kindly to each other.” But we are humans… and when we’re hungry, or tired, or in a bad mood, we may fall short of this expectation. And this will be true of many other expectations too. Many couples realize over time that they had assumptions (read: expectations) about who would do the laundry, how often intimacy would occur, or who would handle paying the bills.

We want, we try, but sometimes, we fall short.

We all fall short at times, and it will benefit your relationship to recognize and accept the reality that sometimes, your expectations will not be met. Know this, and when your expectations aren’t met: breathe deeply, say a quick prayer, smile, and try to move on. If it genuinely hurts, share that with your loved one and ask for a specific change.

Call to Action:

Ask your valentine what their expectations are for this upcoming Valentine’s Day. Begin a discussion about your expectations and theirs, so that you can be on the same page, understand each other, and try to make each other smile each day.