Ministry work can take its toll on us. And in the busyness of it all, sometimes we forget to put any time or energy into caring for ourselves.
But when we live this way, we start to feel it – in our emotional wellness, mental health, physical energy, and in our relationships.
Today, we’ll look at 10 key areas of life where we ALL need coping skills! We’ll look at some specific examples and lots of ideas, so that you can easily find something that will make sense in your life.
Coping skills are not just a buzz word or a thing for people who are desperately struggling. We all need them – and we all need them to be healthy, godly, and effective.
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Let’s jump into these 10 categories of coping skills:
Yes, there are many more coping skills than we will discuss here. But these 10 are a great jumping off point! They are relatively easy, cheap, accessible, and helpful.
1 – Release physical stress.
We tend to carry stress in our bodies. Many people deal with headaches, tight muscles, and even ulcers and frequent illnesses because of stress.
So, find a coping skill that releases physical stress. This might include any form of exercising, but it also might be more simple such as stretching or using a stress ball.
Activities that release physical stress are helpful anytime, but especially when you notice your emotions escalating. If your stress, anxiety, anger, or other hard emotions are rising – try using a coping skill to release that physical stress.
2 – Release emotions.
We all have emotions. Some people handle them better than others. But pushing them under the rug and pretending they don’t exist, or even that they don’t influence us, is not healthy or holy. It is not honest!
So, find coping skills that release emotion in a healthy way. This might mean allowing yourself time to cry, journaling through your prayers or thoughts, or engaging with art or music in a meaningful way. Just as David wrote so many psalms, you also might release emotion by writing, drawing, or creating music – even if you never show it anyone!
Emotions are not the enemy. Find coping skills that release those emotions regularly.
3 – Enjoy something.
This category of coping skills is in the realm of the classic “self care.” You will be refreshed and rejuvenated when you take the time to do things you enjoy!
What are your hobbies? What activities make you smile? When do you find yourself happiest? Identify some activities that you enjoy, and make time for them regularly in your life. Most of us have comfort foods, comfort songs or movies that simply make us feel good. Figure out what those are, and embrace them.
4 – Create something.
Creating something is another wonderful type of coping skill! You do not need to create something with a goal of perfection, showing it to others, or receiving feedback on it. Simply create.
What might you create? Try some drawing, making music, writing a story or poem, baking, gardening, cooking. The sky is the limit! It can bring joy, peace, and a sense of accomplishment to create something.
5 – Connect with someone.
Relationships can be very life-giving. So, try to be intentional to add a coping skills into your life of regularly connecting with people.
Make a phone call. Grab coffee with a friend. Play catch with your child.
For this area of coping skills, it is not about the activity that you do. It is about the relationship that you are investing in. Connecting with someone reduces loneliness, increases our sense of purpose, and it feels good.
6 – Purposefully rest in the Lord.
If you are a pastor, or another type of ministry leader, you probably talk about the Bible regularly. You may pray, lead others, and focus on godly conversations often.
But is that time purposefully restful for YOU? Is it your time with the Lord, or leading someone else? Especially when we do this professionally, it can be easy to slip away from our first love – Jesus himself – and use our time with Him for the purposes of work or serving others.
So, find room in your life for the coping skill of purposefully resting in the Lord. Read the Bible, pray, confess, worship – just for yourself.
7 – Achieve something.
It is a great feeling to check something off a list! To finish a project or enjoy an achievement of some kind.
And this can be a coping skill.
Even something as simple as cleaning is a type of coping skills wherein you achieve something. What once was dirty is now clean – visibly changed, and directly improved because of your effort.
Finish a project, clean something, or focus on some area of life where you can achieve and celebrate.
8 – Celebrate something.
Throughout Scripture, we are called to rejoice in the Lord. And no matter how hard our life or ministry is, there is much to celebrate – we can always rejoice in what God has done for us!
So, find a regular way to celebrate something. Perhaps you could start a gratitude list or tracking prayer requests that have been answered. Maybe you want to schedule regular “celebrations” to make a big deal out of what your kids are accomplishing or things happening for others at your church. Celebrate something and experience the emotional and mental health benefits for yourself.
9 – Laugh at something.
Laughter is great medicine, as they say. And this can be a great category of coping skills.
When you need to calm down, take a break, or deal with stress – laugh at something. You could watch something funny online, have a conversation with a friend who makes you laugh, or reflect on a humorous memory.
Don’t hold back on opportunities to enjoy a moment and laugh.
10 – Care for something – gardening, spend time with a pet, exercise
It can feel counterintuitive – but caring for other things or people generally makes us feel better. We feel needed, important, and we can see that we are making an impact.
So, find a regular way to care for something. Perhaps that is gardening and tending to your plants. Maybe you can care for a pet. Even caring for your body through intentional healthy eating and exercise, or caring for your family members with intentional date nights or quality time together, is an area of coping skills
Coping skills will not save us or fix a struggling ministry. But they will help us be better people!
On the good days and the bad, we all need coping skills. They keep us sane, encouraged, and help us to stay engaged with the things that are truly most important to us.
If you are in South Carolina and need help with coping skills, we have counselors and life coaches available at The iHope Center.Reach out to us at The iHope Center if you would like some support with dealing with these related struggles. Our services are 50% below the local average cost of counseling and we do offer some virtual appointments if needed. Call (843) 702-0323 to get started.
ABOUT YOUR HOST
This podcast is offered as a ministry from iHope Christian Care and Counseling, Inc. We are a nonprofit counseling center in the Pee Dee area of South Carolina. Our primary host is our Director: Jessica Hayes, LPC, LMFT, LPCS-C. You can learn more about The iHope Center at http://www.ihopeflorence.com.
We hope you will subscribe to our channel and share about the podcast with the other pastors and leaders in your life. There is a video, audio, and blog version of this podcast:
- LISTEN on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or any common podcast app
- WATCH on the iHope YouTube channel
- READ on the iHope blog
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REFERRALS AND DONATIONS
Our counselors are licensed in the state of South Carolina. If you are local to our state, we hope you will consider The iHope Center as a referral source for professional counseling or life coaching. We offer a 10% discount on services to full-time pastors. Virtual services are available as well.
The iHope Center is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and we are registered in the state of South Carolina as a charitable organization. If you are local to our state, we welcome your donations and gifts to support our counseling ministry. Donations allow us to keep clients’ fees at 50% below the local average cost for services.
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DISCLAIMER
This podcast, as well as other resources offered by The iHope Center, should be taken as informational and educational content only. Utilizing our resources does not create a professional relationship. This podcast is not therapy. Always use your own judgment in making decisions and in making recommendations for others.
In the case of a medical or mental health emergency for yourself or someone else, please contact your local emergency department. In the USA, you can call “988” which is the three-digit, nationwide phone number to connect directly to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
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Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Counseling Tips For Pastors And Ministry Leaders!
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