Hopefully, you’ve thought through what you want your boundaries to look like. This is critical for a healthy ministry, family, and life.
But then the question turns to: how do I do it?
How do I implement these boundaries? Stick with them when it’s tough? Adjust them if it’s appropriate?
Today I’ll share 5 tips from my experience as a licensed counselor, pastor’s wife, and ministry leader. Find some practical tips and encouragement for HOW to live out boundaries in your life, and avoid ministry burnout in the process.
What boundaries do you need?
Boundaries impact every area of your life. They impact your relationships, your health and wellness, and they definitely impact your ministry and work.
At a minimum, you need to be intentional about knowing what your physical boundaries are, setting boundaries with your time and schedule, and having clarity in your emotional boundaries or the things that are influencing how you think and feel.
Learn more about how to set boundaries here.
5 tips for how to actually live out your boundaries
While you have to start by understanding what your boundaries are (or should be), it usually gets harder when you start trying to implement those boundaries.
But if you don’t live them out, they don’t actually impact your life.
So, make sure to try out these tips for living out your boundaries.
Tip 1 – Know your own strengths and weaknesses
It’s one thing to know what you want your boundaries to be, but it’s another thing to know where you are most likely to struggle with them. Are you naturally a person who likes to hug others… but then struggle with what physical boundaries look like? Do you like to listen to current events… and then struggle with emotional boundaries in handling anxiety about the news?
Try to predict where you will struggle and why, so that you can put a plan in place to make your boundaries more successful.
Tip 2 – Get support and accountability
Talking about goals and plans makes it more likely that you will succeed. Give people permission to check in on you, ask questions, and give help. When others know what boundaries you’re working on, they can give support and help you follow through or deal with barriers that come up.
Tip 3 – Practice what you’ll say ahead of time
You’ll find it easier to stand firm on a boundary if you already know what you’ll say to others. Find some wording that you are comfortable with, and practice it! Say it to yourself in front of the mirror. Say it out loud to get your spouse’s feedback. Say it to people who will have no problem with your boundary. Then, you’ll be much more ready to say it in situations that are harder.
Tip 4 – Plan your schedule so it’s obvious where you CAN say yes or no
Stephen Covey has an idea around putting “Big Rocks” into your schedule first, so that the “little rocks” can then just fit in where possible. What are your big rocks? The non-negotiable events and top priorities for your family, ministry, and life?
This might include scheduling your workouts, date nights, quality time with your kids, or devotional time with the Lord. When something is on your calendar, it’s easier to say “no” when you need to.
Tip 5 – Identify tough “what if” situations and make a plan
Sometimes, we cannot predict the difficult situation that will test our boundaries. But usually, we can! Try to think about the worst case scenario for your boundaries or burnout, and then make a plan for it. What would you do? What would you say? Figure out how to avoid temptations, respond to difficult people, and be ready with a backup plan for your toughest situations.
Struggling with boundaries?
If you are in South Carolina, reach out to us at The iHope Center if you would like some support with boundaries or burnout. Our services are 50% below the local average cost of counseling and we do offer some virtual appointments if needed. Call (843) 702-0323 to get started.
ABOUT YOUR HOST
This podcast is offered as a ministry from iHope Christian Care and Counseling, Inc. We are a nonprofit counseling center in the Pee Dee area of South Carolina. Our primary host is our Director: Jessica Hayes, LPC, LMFT, LPCS-Candidate. You can learn more about The iHope Center at http://www.ihopeflorence.com.
We hope you will subscribe to our channel and share about the podcast with the other pastors and leaders in your life. There is a video, audio, and blog version of this podcast:
- LISTEN on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or any common podcast app
- WATCH on the iHope YouTube channel
- READ on the iHope blog
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REFERRALS AND DONATIONS
Our counselors are licensed in the state of South Carolina. If you are local to our state, we hope you will consider The iHope Center as a referral source for professional counseling or life coaching. We offer a 10% discount on services to full-time pastors. Virtual services are available as well.
The iHope Center is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and we are registered in the state of South Carolina as a charitable organization. If you are local to our state, we welcome your donations and gifts to support our counseling ministry. Donations allow us to keep clients’ fees at 50% below the local average cost for services.
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DISCLAIMER
This podcast, as well as other resources offered by The iHope Center, should be taken as informational and educational content only. Utilizing our resources does not create a professional relationship. This podcast is not therapy. Always use your own judgment in making decisions and in making recommendations for others.
In the case of a medical or mental health emergency for yourself or someone else, please contact your local emergency department. In the USA, you can call “988” which is the three-digit, nationwide phone number to connect directly to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
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Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Counseling Tips For Pastors And Ministry Leaders!
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